This year is coming to a close. Many things I had hoped to accomplish within this period have remained idle as time continued to march by. Each tick felt as if it was mocking my lack of progress. It was as if I’d pledged an allegiance to the year 2022, binding the success of my aspirations to the pretense of them being accomplished specifically within that time. I failed to ask myself why I felt this way.
As the air grows thin, the foliage has been rinsed of its pigments, and the creatures of the wild retreat. Dusk swallows the atmosphere, ingesting the previous year to make way for the one to come. The autumn leaves still dance across the street. And yet, winter couldn’t seem to be moving any faster. The end of the year is barreling down the windpipe, with the force to plow through my expectations, I found myself bubbling with disappointment.
Time is a constraint we subconsciously use to choke production out of ourselves. Insecurities disguised as introspective vehicles to a rose tinted, dream fulfilling paradise bequeath nothing. Nothing except the insatiable thirst for accomplishment onto us. This thirst morphs into an unhealthy obsession, ultimately making your psyche your biggest critique and your greatest enemy. We are in a race with ourselves, on a track that grows infinitely. In a perfect world everyone would be equipped with a device solely designed to stop, rewind, and fast forward our lives. But unfortunately our world bears just as many faults as we do.
So, time is passing us by. Whether your desired endeavors are time sensitive or not, you can always set new goals. That feeling of dread perpetrates as a catapult, but acts as an anchor that staggers your progression. It’s hard to let go of something that’s been keeping you alert, and on your toes in the face of your own internal opposition. Unhealthy habits such as this often spiral out of control. This eventually branches into more ruinous habits. For anyone experiencing this, or adjacent to anyone going through this, I’d advise that you set more immediate goals. Goals that alleviate that constant yearn for achievement that has you scrambling at the end of each year.
Do you go through this never-ending madness annually? Have you or someone close to you overcome this toxic cycle? If so, talk about it in the comments.