The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
donald trump is going to be so mad he got beat by a bunch of women
— Ziwe (@ziwe) December 6, 2017
*scrolls to the bottom of my feelings*
— debby ryan (@DebbyRyan) December 5, 2017
My favorite thing about working from home is the part where you don’t look in a mirror until 12:30 and then you scream
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) December 7, 2017
*manages to moisturize my face*
a boundless step forward in the evolution of man, the likes which have never been accomplished before and are unlikely to be surpassed in our lifetime
— call me by my handle (2017) (@krutika) December 3, 2017
I don’t remember ever listening to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” on purpose and yet I know all the lyrics. This is what happens. This is how they get you.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 3, 2017
nothing makes me more anxious than having multiple people in a google spreadsheet at once
— Sleighlor Trudon?? (@taylortrudon) December 3, 2017
It would be a fuckkng *honor* to give all of my money to alcohol and women.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 4, 2017
GOOD MORNING, I FEEL GOOD TODAY! SO MUCH SO THAT IM KIND OF SUSPICIOUS ABOUT IT!
— Brokey the Christmas Heaux (@brokeymcpoverty) December 4, 2017
all my black friday serums are arriving so i imagine by wednesday i will be a glossier model
— Xena WorrierPrincess (@marianbull) December 4, 2017
y’all ever turn down the music in the car cause y’all can’t see?
— skp? (@_ImSreya) December 2, 2017
I have just been informed that there is a film, now playing at the multiplex, titled “The Man Who Invented Christmas” and I would like you girls to know that I am drafting Jack Skellington’s cease and desist as we speak
— Jasmine Sha-Ree Sanders (@JasMoneyRecords) December 7, 2017
compared to the rest of 2017 the Fyre Festival was a high point
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) December 6, 2017
Me: NYC baby, I’m doing so much better than the losers from my high school who settled down in small towns
Actually me: I spend most of my waking hours filled with a blind rage at strangers online & can afford to buy an apartment in *crunches numbers* 647 years
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) December 5, 2017
Me to people mistreating me: Excuse me, are you aware I have a podcast
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) December 6, 2017
when i tried on highlighters at sephora i did not anticipate how much better they’d look on my cat
— sophy ziss (@sophyish) December 3, 2017
Just once I want to see a model walk down a runway like she is avoiding someone she just spotted on the street
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 4, 2017
If my Facebook Year in Review video were honest, it’d just be quick cuts of me screaming and using the word “fuck” as various parts of speech.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) December 7, 2017